We’ve all heard phrases like “change is the only constant” or “change before change changes you.” But how do we actually respond when a change hits us personally? Especially when one person’s “change” can seem like a tsunami, while for another person it’s no big deal.

We respond to change in different ways, depending on factors like our economic situation, other things going on in our lives, our support network, our tolerance for stress, past experiences and personality type.

As you might expect, change actually does affect us physically. It can trigger conflict sensors in the brain, leading to cognitive dissonance. That’s exactly what it sounds like – disruption in our thoughts and feelings.

The result can be anxiety, uncertainty and a longing for things the way they used to be. How to handle the changes life brings can seem intimidating, but there are steps you can take to help make the process easier.

Don’t Fight It

The first step is to acknowledge that change, in varying degrees, is an inevitable fact of life. Often, denying or actively resisting change will only make the situation worse and more difficult to handle.

We need to accept the fact of change, acknowledge it and be prepared to work with it. It’s OK to be uncomfortable with unfamiliar experiences. Identify the fears you may have about change in general and in regard to a specific challenge. Remember that dealing with change often requires an element of courage. Recognize and bring out the courage that resides naturally within you.

How can we help ourselves reduce feelings of hesitation or uncertainty and take action?

Be Proactive

Once you’ve sorted through your feelings about change, it’s time to put together a plan. A good starting place is to define a purpose and set a goal or objective for what you’d like to accomplish. Then be ready to shift from goal setting to an intentional frame of mine to tackle the implementation of your plan.

The internal support and encouragement you generate goes a long way toward success. So be loving and gentle with yourself as you proceed. Imagine or visualize the satisfaction and joy you’ll feel in putting your intentions in play.

Part of this positive reinforcement can be creating incentives and rewards for reaching certain milestones. You can also record and celebrate positive effects as they are achieved.

Get to Work

Here are some specific suggestions for how to cope with change: 

• Set reasonable expectations and be patient with yourself
• Maintain your regular schedule as much as possible to sustain an element of predictability and stability
• Try to keep your diet as healthy as possible, while getting regular exercise and sleep
• Create breaks for your brain such as a quick nap, simple daydreaming or a hobby like drawing
• Clear your mind and open your awareness and mindfulness to what’s going on around you
• Heed your self-talk, be open to your thoughts, note the positives and negatives, trust your intuition
• Encourage curiosity, try new things, vary your routines a bit, stretch your thoughts and feelings
• Pursue relaxing activities that can also enhance your senses of sight, sound, smell, taste and touch
• Find opportunities to laugh since it increases dopamine, serotonin and endorphins in the brain and decreases stress-producing cortisol
• Stay in touch with your support network to express your feelings, but with a focus on positive actions as opposed to venting
• Back away from social media
• Get help if necessary in dealing with grief and losses that may arise

Practice and reinforcement can make a big difference in developing new habits of thought and response. Take time to acknowledge and celebrate your progress in dealing with a particular situation, enhancing your coping skills and reaching your goals.

The positive side of change can be opportunities for new ways of thinking, new perspectives and new priorities. It may seem painful at the time, but change is how we grow. And since change is inevitable, developing the skills to embrace it can make life more enjoyable and productive.

But if you’re feeling overwhelmed or stuck, seek help. That support can come from friends and family, online resources, spiritual guidance and professional counseling. These sources can help you cope with change, including setting goals for where you want to be in life.

One example of a major life change is the loss of one’s job. With that can come a loss of health insurance, with potentially devastating consequences. If that has happened to you or someone you know, we invite you to read a KeenanDirect blog on that topic.